You just made me feel so damn special
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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