I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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