hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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