i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
