Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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