Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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