So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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