Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
