Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
There's even glitter on my cock...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
