Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
