Taylor Swift is so right about you.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
