I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
