just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i drank out of a bidet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize