you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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