Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
