would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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