Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
