hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
50% drunk capacity currently
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
