there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
