Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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