i don't like sucking hair
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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