What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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