HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My vagina is officially offended.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
