There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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