are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize