Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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