A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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