I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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