i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
