i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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