K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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