I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize