So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
