no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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