If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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