Where is the hickey?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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