Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
