history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
