Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize