I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
