You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
be right there i have to get my cape
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize