Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
