mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
