It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
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he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
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Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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