i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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