Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
