really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
