I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You smell like stripper and shame
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
