Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
