If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
