Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
