what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
