Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
