Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
