so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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