Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
