dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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