I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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