considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
and you fell through a lawn chair
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
