i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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