I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
